I am sure that many of you are familiar with Life and Career Coach, Tom Volkar, author at Delightful Work. His articles and ideas certainly have assisted me in my self-growth, as I'm sure they have supported others. Tom is generous with his time and knowledge, not only on his blog where he also gives commenters further suggestions, but also through open phone classes that he leads periodically. However, Tom's enthusiasm for personal development extends beyond this, into his work as a coach. Tom's passion is to help others find freedom and happiness.
It is wonderful to have him here today, sharing some of his insights and providing inspiration.
Welcome, Tom.
Tom: Hi Juliet, it's a pleasure to be here.
Juliet: Your theme for this year is "Prosperity through Authenticity".
Can you elaborate on what this means to you and what led you to this theme?
Tom: My work is all about inspiring the leap to the freedom of self-employment because the employed just don't enjoy the same autonomy. I deeply believe in honouring our authentic uniqueness. It's extremely challenging to find a job where we are totally free to express who we are. I've talked with hundreds of folks and surveyed hundreds more about what keeps them from this freedom. The number one reason is fear around the lack of earning enough money.
Yet the only true route to right livelihood is authentic expression, thus my focus on "Prosperity through Authenticity". Prosperity is reached most readily by simply doing what we can do now. Being authentic focuses your entire being to do what you can in the way that only you can.
Juliet: You have been coaching for ten years. What is the most important thing that you have learned from this career?
Tom: Everyone is always more ready and equipped to create the life they want, than they think they are. The supportive and encouraging environment of coaching, provides a launching pad that allows clients to see their glorious capacity for greatness.
Juliet: What are some of the areas that you find are most challenging for people going the self-employed route?
Tom: Getting the spouse on board is most challenging when one partner fears the loss of income that an entrepreneurial effort temporarily brings. I've been specializing lately coaching the bolder spouse on how to gain support and encouragement from the more cautious partner.
The other big challenge is the illusionary need many would be entrepreneurs have to know all the details before acting. They mistakenly think that when the time is right or when they know "how to do" something then they will act. But the lack of "how-to" or right timing is not what stops them from acting. It's the lack of committed "want-to" that really stops them.
Let me tell you a story about Bob. We coached for three months and he danced all around this issue while he gradually came to grips with his courage. But it took him being laid off to really find the guts to make his move. Once he'd already lost his job there was nothing left to fear. Then the coaching successfully moved him into self-employment because the illusion of security smacked him right in the face.
Juliet: You frequently offer complimentary group coaching experiences by phone. This medium may deter some potential clients. How do you experience telephonic coaching? Do you think that it hampers, enhances or has no bearing on the process for your clients?
Tom: I coach by phone for a number of reasons. 1). I have an international practice so it's a necessity for at least half my clients. 2). We're all busy these days and it's more convenient for everyone to schedule phone sessions. 3). Many clients enjoy the anonymity that the phone provides; they actually find it more confidential than face-to-face. 4). The most important reason is my intuition is much sharper when I'm free to listen without visual distractions. My intuitive hunches often lead to major client epiphanies that we would not have arrived at in person.
Juliet: Before moving on, I'd like to add that I have attended one of Tom's phone coaching sessions and was very impressed. I felt such a sense of connection that I could have been sitting in the room with him. Now that he mentions his intuition, I can understand why it was such a successful experience. He walked us through a very useful process for taking action and moving forward with one's life and desired path. What I found really beneficial is that the process included self-discovery and not only the identification of obstacles, but also the factors behind these obstacles. He gives simple, yet very effective exercises for diving into some of the deeper issues that need to be uncovered. I find his ideas inspiring. For example: I was very stuck at the time of the seminar, and one suggestion he has for times like this is:" If you don't know what to do, guess." That, for me, was relieving, because it's easy to do, and exciting, because it can be rather fun and creative. It got me going and I'll use it in the future. Another simple tool is, every time one berates oneself, to change "I can't do x" to "up until now, I haven't been able to do x." (Or some similar phrase and wording.)
I could go on with tips and insights, but, let's continue with our interview:
I find that many who are self-employed struggle with the marketing side - especially in terms of confidence levels, personality styles etc. Do you have any tips to share on how to approach this side of one's business?
Tom: Fear of marketing or of selling oneself usually comes from two false assumptions. 1). That receiving a "no thank you" from a prospect is personal rejection. It isn't. No is simply the other side of yes, like night is to day. Without no, yes would not be possible. 2). They have found their true calling. If you are truly in work that brings you alive, marketing simply becomes a natural by-product of your enthusiasm. If you have to force yourself to market, I would dig deeper and see if perhaps you have compromised on your dream by attempting less than you might be capable of. It's nearly impossible to be enthusiastic about a second or third place dream.
Juliet: You have been blogging now since late 2007. What has been your experience? How do you wish to take it further?
Tom: There are many benefits of blogging and the warmth of community building with fellow bloggers has been a pleasant surprise. The main benefit is that my writing has gotten better because of frequency. Also my coaching practice has grown to the point that some folks can't even recall if they found me first on my coaching website or my blog.
As for what the future holds I really don't know. I'm here for the wild ride like many of you and I'll make that decision as the opportunities arise. The growth of social media and accompanying interconnections has made us all pioneers but I'm guessing that our blogs will always serve us as the home base.
Juliet: I think that we all battle, at some stage in life, with motivation. What advice can you provide on sparking inspiration and the energy to focus and move forward?
Tom: Understanding what motivates us is one of my passions so my advice would be to get a coach and dig into your hesitation. It really depends on what you think is stopping you. The good news is that we make it all up. So what's really stopping you is simply a thought.
My thesaurus has 37 different synonyms for motivation. Here they are: action, actuation, angle, catalyst, desire, disposition, drive, encouragement, fire, get up and go, gimmick, goose, hunger, impetus, impulse, impulsion, incentive, incitation, incitement, inclination, inducement, inspiration, instigation, interest, kick, motive, persuasion, predetermination, predisposition, provocation, push, reason, right stuff, spur, stimulus, suggestion and wish. At times, I bet I've resorted to using tools, concepts or strategies that have used each of these to get a client moving. This link will take your readers to 24 different blog posts each with a different tool or strategy and this one has 11 different posts on getting unstuck. Happy reading!
Juliet: We all have blind spots. Are there any methods that one can use to uncover these?
Tom: Blind spots by nature, are illusive and cannot often be seen working solo. They require collaboration and conversation because our conscious mind (ego) is always on alert to keep us safe and unchanging. I have worked with clients using one very effective technique that I learned from Nathaniel Branden. It's called sentence stem completion and he uses the tool in a way that tricks the conscious mind into silence so that inner wisdom may emerge. That wisdom often leads to huge epiphanies around blind spot obstacles. A good place to start is Branden's book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem.
Juliet: Your intent is to assist people pursue work life freedom and you believe that self-employment is the answer. Do you feel that the current economic state is an advantage for this purpose?
Tom: No more or less than anytime. We spend far too much time putting off what's good for us. Business success does not depend on good or bad economies. There are business successes and failures in both. Our advantage is our willingness to authentically express. That's the only edge that we all have in the marketplace. Operate the business that you were born to create and your struggles will be less.
Juliet: I could continue, but you have already given us much food for thought. Thank you for joining us.
Tom: It's my been my honour and I'm more than willing to answer your reader's questions particularly around making the leap to the freedom of self-employment, as well as questions about life and business coaching.
Well, readers. I encourage you to head on over to Tom's site, Delightful Work and learn from his writings. Also, for inspired action, sign-up for his free 5-day e-mail Project Blastoff. What I further recommend is joining Tom's next phone coaching experience on Wednesday April 15: Creating the Life & Business You Most Want - A Bold Process for Authoring Your Own Life Now!
Perhaps you have some questions for Tom. Ask away in the comments below.
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