The other evening I was sitting working on my PC. I was wearing sandals. I tend to occasionally wiggle my feet, so initially I thought that it was just the top of the sandal on my right foot that was moving around, but when it became a little too much of a tickle, I looked down. There was a Parktown Prawn walking off the edge of my shoe. I shrieked. I jumped onto the chair, I demanded immediate attention from Cornel.
For those of you who are wondering what a "Parktown Prawn" is (and I didn't know until I moved to Johannesburg):
- It's a type of king cricket. (Bear with me, I know it seems like an over-reaction on my part)
- It is about 5cm long (and hectically ugly)
- It jumps towards you if you approach it
- When threatened, it releases the most vile smelling black liquid. That smell is almost permanent
- It appears to be virtually indestructible; almost insect-spray resistant. Apparently even if its head is removed (I know that is gross), it continues functioning for a while. If you want to rescue it and put it outside, you have to try to do so without setting off the black liquid response.
- Here is a pretty picture
Once, unbeknownst to Cornel, one of these things crawled into his shoe. When he put the shoe on the "prawn" did the black liquid trick. Cornel spent about 15 minutes trying to get (most of) the smell off his foot. We couldn't get the smell out of those shoes and threw them away eventually.
For some readers, this story may be enough - creepy-crawlies, yikes! But for others, let's step it up a bit:
About six months ago Cornel and I were camping in a nature reserve. We went for a walk late one afternoon. It was just to the river, not far from the campsite as there wasn't a great deal of time before nightfall. Cornel was striding ahead and I was wandering along behind. Suddenly I felt a spray of water on my arm. I looked up to see if it had started raining. No. Then I turned around towards the general direction of the spray. It took me a while to register, but about a meter away from me was a spitting cobra, its head reared, looking at me. I've hiked and walked in the bush many times; heard the snake warnings distantly, but never actually come across one face-to-face, so to speak.
I don't recall, but, according to Cornel, I said: "Is that a snake?" He, apparently said: "Yes." Then I ran!
Initially I had frozen (one of the three fear responses, namely, fight, flight or freeze). With the Parktown Prawn it was "flight".
These fear responses come from the Reptilian (most primitive) part of our brain and are hard-wired. It is a basic and instinctual survival mechanism. As a result, our bodies respond physically to the situation. Adrenaline races through our system to prepare us for the action. Blood gets channeled to the muscles and areas where it will be needed more for the "fight" etc.
The problem is that these days (most of the time), our fear is triggered by non-life-threatening situations e.g. an interview, public speaking, financial concerns, relationship difficulties etc. but, we still respond in this low-level way. We don't need the blood in the muscles in order to give a speech. We need it in our brain so that we can think! Also, because of the fact that we live in a high-stress world, our bodies are often continuously subjected to the physical and mental effects of fear and they don't get a chance to rest and recover - as they would have when our only worries were those of basic survival. We tend to be worn out and exhausted from inappropriate responses.
Really we should be leaving our fear reaction to places where it is warranted and necessary i.e. survival. That, of course, is much more easily said than done.
I find that an experience of survival-related fear reminds me that this is in fact the reason we have the ability to feel fear. It is to save us. It is not there for when we have to face a tricky conversation or write an exam. That is not its place and yet, that is where we allow it to flourish.
I find that it is really useful to remember this fact. You can use it when faced with "unfounded" fear. So, for example, if I have to give a speech and I am nervous I can:
- Feel the fear
- Think "I am experiencing fear which is a normal reaction, but this is not a life-threatening situation" (reality check)
I find that this thought serves as a "fear-arrester". From there I can explore the fear and situation further, work on changing my thoughts, beliefs, emotions etc. and choose how to respond to the event. Not simply an automatic fight, flight or freeze action.
Actually, come to think of it, I should have frozen when it came to the Parktown Prawn and run when I saw the snake!
You may also want to take a look at the following articles:
A means of stopping overwhelming emotions
The Whats, Whys and Hows of Taking Responsibility for Your Feelings
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