Let's start with looking at the word "responsibility". If you break it down, you get: "response" and "ability". And that, in a nutshell, is what responsibility is essentially all about. It is the ability to respond or the capability to respond. So, the ability to respond appropriately to life situations and to others. By "appropriately" we mean to manage one's own emotions, own actions and behavior in a way that befits the situation and is beneficial for oneself (and I don't mean that in a selfish way).

To take responsibility means to not blame others for anything - not situations, not the way you are feeling, not what has happened. nothing. It means that we realize that we are not helpless and that we have the power to change the situation or to change the way in which we look at the situation. We are not victims to the external world, but have the inner strength to choose our responses and choose our life paths. No one else is able to change our feelings and responses - not even if they try. We are the ones who have to take action.

Why take responsibility for one's feelings? Because if you don't you won't get what you want out of life. Plain and simple. It's the Law of Attraction 101. If you keep on blaming something, you are focusing on the (bad) situation and you attract more of the (bad) situation. If you don't take responsibility for your feelings you will stay stuck in the anger or pain or hurt etc. And, once again, invite more of it into your life.

So, how do you ensure you are taking responsibility?

• When something unpleasant happens, even if you can't control the situation, you can choose your response. You can change your feelings towards it or decide to use it as an opportunity to learn or consider it an incident that reminds you of your gratitude for what you do have. For example, say a friend breaks something that is very important to you. Do you blame and set up awkwardness around it? Do you let it interfere with your friendship? Or do you say to yourself that these things happen and leave it at that? If you haven't backed-up your work on your PC and it all becomes corrupt, do you give up on what you were doing, or do you view it as a lesson to always make sure you have copies?
  
  
• Listen to your thoughts and listen to yourself when you speak. Catch yourself where you are blaming others for work not done or for a particular situation. See where you are making excuses. For example, excuses for being late, for this or that not happening. Stop and change it.
  
  
• Admit when you have made a mistake. Apologize if necessary.
  
  
• Acknowledge your role in events. Understand them to the best of your ability and decide what needs to change or stay the same in the future. For example, perhaps there was a misunderstanding about arrangements. Perhaps it was not your fault, but perhaps you could have been clearer in your communication, or reminded the person etc. Either way, don't dwell on it, learn and let it go.
  
  
• Notice if you are ever feeling that you are unlucky and that there is nothing you can do about it. Or you are feeling sorry for yourself. There is always something that can be done. Even if it is simply letting go and moving on.
  
  
• Do you ever catch yourself behaving in a manner in which you normally wouldn't, simply because others are? For example, everyone drives above the speed-limit, so I will too.
  
  
• Instead of constant focus on having your needs met, consider others' needs.
  
  
• Forgive. And forgiveness does not mean condoning the other person's behavior, it means letting go of your negative emotions around the issue. It is about moving forward and leaving the event behind.
  
  
• Be aware of when you are becoming constantly caught up in your "rightness". You cannot always be "right". Remember to be open to others' ideas and opinions.
  
  
• Believe that your life is supposed to be joyful. When you are feeling bad about a situation think: "Is this making my life happier, more peaceful, more joyful?" If not, consider: "Do I really want to hold onto this?" If the answer is "no", then, let it go, which means not thinking or talking about it. Move on towards the joy.
  
  
• Ask others for help when you need it.
  
  
• Set boundaries. Don't allow others to regularly upset you or encroach on your personal space.
  
  
• Say what you mean.
  
  
• Think before you speak or act.
  
  
• Hold yourself accountable for your commitments.
  
  
• Taking responsibility is not only about the now and current events, it is also about establishing and creating one's future so that we have positive experiences to come. We are the only ones that can make ourselves happy.

We need to be vigilant for taking responsibility in all areas of our lives. Sometimes we may be in control when it comes to work, but not when it comes to relationships.

If you don't take responsibility for your feelings and actions, you are likely to view your life as a failure as you will have been tossed here and there by external events and never created that in which you would have rejoiced.

Where in your life have you caught yourself not taking responsibility for your feelings? How have you changed that?

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