Day-to-day events often spark negative or uncomfortable emotional responses in us. There is an unpleasant or unwanted incident and we feel angry or upset or embarrassed and so the list goes on.

Often it is difficult to even identify what feelings we are exactly experiencing and, more often than not, it is even more difficult to turn those feelings around. To start directly with a (what at the time may seem like an over-the-top) affirmation such as "I am relaxed" can seem impossible. And the more we feel it is impossible, the more impossible it becomes. (What one resists, persists.)

The exercise that I would like to share with you today is all about turning around the emotions after that negative event. It promotes positive thinking. So, without further a due, here is what I use:

1. Make a list of all of your feelings about this experience. Don't even really think about it. You may find that the less you think, the more the emotions flow. Write until you cannot write any further. (It doesn't matter if some words are repeated, just keep going)
   
   
2. Then, next to each word, write the opposite (as you see it and as per what you meant when you wrote it. If you have a word listed more than once, you may choose a different opposite the second time round. My example below may make this clearer.)
   
   
3. Then, look down your list of "opposites" i.e. positive and uplifting words. Feel each one. (You may find it useful to cover the left-hand column)
   
   
4. Then leave it. Go do something different, relaxing or mindless. Tidy your desk, go for a walk etc. Don't think about your writing or the exercise or tense up with anticipation. Just, possibly, feel the relief of expression or the satisfaction of having taken some action.
   
   
5. At some point you will feel the shift in your emotional state and your perspective. You will feel balance and peace and release. And often, a solution or potential course of action will reveal itself.

So, here is an example:

The situation:
You are at work. You asked a colleague to complete a section of a project. She committed to it and the deadline. It is now the due date and she is coming up with all sorts of excuses as to why she hasn't completed the tasks. As a result of this, your entire project will now be behind schedule and you will have to answer to your boss.

1. List your emotions
   (after slamming your office door and once you have stopped breaking pencils - just kidding):
   
   

   Fed up

   Furious

   Worried

   Stressed

   Pressurized

   Incompetent

   Furious

   Blaming

   Revenge

   Unfair

   
   
   
2. List the positive (opposite) words next to your hot-spot words

   Fed up	Patient
   Furious	Calm
   Worried	Content
   Stressed	At peace
   Pressurized	Relaxed
   Incompetent	Competent
   Furious	Pleased
   Blaming	Praising
   Revenge	Love
   Unfair	Fair

   
   
   
3. Read through and feel the concepts of the words on the right-hand column. (Cover the left column)
   
   
4. Do something relaxing, distracting, mindless. Don't think about any of it!
   
   
5. Feel your shift in emotions and perspective.
   Potential solution: Perhaps Mary needs training
   Learning: Perhaps I am not working with Mary correctly; perhaps I need to alter my approach

If you have tried this method, what have been your experiences? Do you have any other techniques that you use to get your emotions under control?

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